Lesson to all: if you’re going to call out Kid Rock in an article online, at least have the decency to do so in your own words.
The genre-blending Michigan singer, Kid Rock, aka Robert Ritchie, recently popped up on my Twitter feed with a lengthy post addressing one of his haters, and I’ve gotta give him props— it roped me in. The “Bawitdaba” singer admitted that he’s taken a step back from addressing his numerous online haters, given that if he did, he’d “never have time to make music or fulfill my duties as ‘The Mayor of Awesomeville.'”
Nonetheless, he made a rare exception to rip one journalist to shreds, Dallas reporter Alyssa Fields, who recently wrote an article for the Arizona-based Phoenix New Times, titled, “The 10 Biggest Douchebags In Country Music,” which is a clever concept I’ll give her that.
Ritchie agreed, noting the piece as “funny,” but just about the only person listed that he thought fit the description was Zach Bryan, who he admitted, “seems pretty douchey to me. But then again, I don’t know him.”
As for the remaining nine artists, Fields, of course, included the outspokenly right-wing artist and his “halftime sh*t show” at number three alongside newer artists like Gavin Adcock, Bailey Zimmerman, and, coming in at second and first place, Morgan Wallen and Jason Aldean, respectively. Not to mention the broad yet valid call-out that is number ten, “the artists cancelling their tours,” to which she used examples of Tayler Holder and Colter Wall.
Overall, the article is a cheap blanket statement of just about every country music stereotype you could plaster on these artists, calling out their most controversial misfortunes, including Wallen’s run-ins with the law over the year and Aldean’s highly disputed 2023 “That In A Small Town” song and coinciding music video.
Oh, and as if you couldn’t already tell that this article was written by someone who’s never listened to country music a day in their life, she lists Blake Shelton at number 6, stating that he, “hasn’t done anything morally reprehensible that we know of, but he did write ‘Boys ‘Round Here.’” If you’re gonna call out someone on your cheesy list, at least do your fact-checking first because the 2013 hit wasn’t even written by Shelton; it was a co-write between legendary songwriter Rhett Akins, along with Dallas Davidson and Craig Wiseman, but nice try.
Corny generalizations aside, Kid Rock, for the most part, wasn’t offended by his inclusion in the list of the “cheap listicles” opinion piece. He was, however, shocked to find was that the August 2026 piece looked a whole lot like another Phoenix New Times Staff piece written by journalist Mike Seely way back in June 2014.
Separated by 12 years, the two articles are mirrored in their exact titles, nearly exact intros, and a copy-and-paste closing joke. As Kid Rock calls out, Fields uses Seely’s 2014 opening line about country music being about “Booze, chicks, jacked-up pickups, extreme redneck sports, spring break” by simply changing “chicks” to “Women” and adding an extra “and.”
Same goes for the ending, where she recycles the article’s ending, saying that Australian singer Keith Urban was “spared the guillotine” because he can “really shred on a guitar”… real clever. She also writes, “If Nicole Kidman is reading this, we think frosted tips in 2026 should be considered a crime against humanity,” which is just another stupid line that should’ve been fact-checked checked considering this was written in August and the couple divorced in January.
Luckily, she does change the list from 2014, updating with more modern names and recently trending headlines as an explanation for her reigning “douchebags.” Likewise, if you need a good laugh, Seely’s 2014 list is truly a product of the time period, calling out throwback names like Jerrod Niemann, Lady Antebellum’s Charles Kelley, and Florida Georgia Line.
Despite Field’s fresh names, it’s still hard to dismiss the article’s VERY similar core punchlines. Kid Rock writes, “it’s a long damn way from creative. If you’re going to call ten people douchebags, the least you can do is come up with your own title, introduction, and closing joke.”
He then goes on to shred another piece of work written by the Texas reporter, touching on his continued involvement in legal battles alongside the Department of Justice against Live Nation and Ticketmaster, which I won’t get into, but you can read below. If you couldn’t tell by the long-winded tweet and the numerous em dashes, the rant doesn’t necessarily sound like Kid Rock’s typical posts; that’s because he admits he “had AI help me check the facts, create the links, check the grammar and handle the other tedious shit.”
He adds, “As a songwriter, putting a few words together to rip someone—or the media—a new a**hole is easy as pie for me.” I see ChatGPT has already adapted to his humor style.
Oh, and somehow he managed to verbalize a mic drop, ending his callout of the plagiarizing journalist by writing, “Kid Rock wins again,” followed by a mic emoji and a downward arrow. Which I’ll now be incorporating into my everyday texting habits, so thank you for that.
If you want to compare the articles side by side for yourself, here’s both Alyssa Field’s 2026 version and Mike Seely’s 2014 original: