WARNING: a sense of humor is actually needed to digest these jokes.
Let me also just preface this trip down memory lane by saying that back in 2009 you could get away with saying a lot more crazy statements than you’ll typically find on TV today. Not to mention, if you’ve never seen a Comedy Central Roast, the whole point of the show is to say the most outlandish things you can think of (all in good fun, of course).
The TV series was around for about 16 years, and as far as I know, beloved late “Red Solo Cup” country singer Toby Keith was one of the only country singers to ever be brave enough to take the hot seat. Back in March 2009, the Oklahoma native joined the lineup of friends on the channel’s roast of none other than fellow accent-slinging redneck comedian Larry the Cable Guy.
Toby did, in fact, take the podium and make a few jabs of his own during the night, notably calling out his famous feud with the Dixie Chicks and also throwing rocks at fellow guest Maureen McCormick (aka Marcia Brady), who attempted a short career as a country artist back in the ’90s. Not to mention his shot at the man of the hour himself, saying, “Larry’s book, ‘Git R Done,’ was groundbreaking. Yeah, it was the first book liberals agreed it was okay to burn.”
You know what they say, though: if you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen, and luckily for the light-hearted legend, he was able to take his fellow guest star’s punches as well as he could dish ’em. Given that Toby Keith was, and still is, one of country music’s most recognizable faces of patriotism, even following his passing in February 2024, his roasters certainly had plenty of material to work with.
Between his outspoken stance against terrorism, the classic country stereotypes, and a few easy jabs at his music career, there was no shortage of comedic ammunition. And thank the Lord the internet has resurfaced these absolute gems, because something tells me Keith would be looking down from heaven and getting a good chuckle out of them himself:
“It’s great to see Toby Keith; Toby, I’m glad you could take time out from spittin’ on Mexicans to be here…you put the BIG in bigot. I loved your last song, ‘Get Out of My Country, You Camel Jockey Wet Back ****** Jew.'”
“This is truly a special night for me; this is the first time I’ve seen Toby and Larry without their hoods on. The only black thing you’ll see at a Toby Keith concert is a woman’s eye.”
“You see my buddy toby here tonight? he’s a good buddy of mine and a good American. His blood’s red, his picket fence is white, and his last album blew.”
“Look at him…Just sitting there waiting for another terrorist attack so he can write about it. But you and I, Toby, we have a lot in common; we both support the Second Amendment, mostly because your music makes me wanna sh**t myself.“
“As long as there’s a flag waving, a honky tonk left standing or a pregnant woman in stretch pants on her second pack of Marlboros beating her kids in a Walmart, you, Toby Keith, are loved.“
If you’re sitting back reading these thinking they were harsh, not to fret, Toby was rolling back and forth on the couch, dying in laughter at pretty much every single joke and cracking a smile the whole way through. Rewatching this throwback has me thinking about all the country artists who would absolutely thrive in a roast like this (and make for some easy targets).
In recent years, we’ve seen viral celebrity roasts featuring the likes of Tom Brady and Kevin Hart, but if someone ever decided to bring a country music twist to the format, I have a feeling it would do some serious numbers.