Cody Johnson has never been one to stifle his beliefs. From his fiery patriotic speeches at his concerts to his dedication to honoring members of the armed forces, the “‘Til You Can’t” singer has had a long history of wearing his heart on his sleeve both in the studio and on the stage.
In a vulnerable interview with Southern Living back in November, Johnson opened up about his faith, the struggles he’s faced in the church and the balance of worshipping while out on the road.
Johnson began the interview by noting how he left his childhood church as a young adult, “It was difficult for me growing up, I didn’t realize it until I was older and I had gone out in my own way. [I] completely left church and I won’t say I turned my back on God, but I dang sure didn’t know where he was at.”
He then revealed that part of the reason he left was the fact that his church was incredibly perfection-orientated, “I was raised in a very perfection doctorate, which is great. You might hear the preacher say, ‘I don’t want to just go to Heaven, I want to be in the 144,000 in the latter rain.’ [I thought], ‘Heaven’s not good enough?’ It was one of those cultures where, if you went Friday night to the football game and you drank a beer under the bleachers, oh man, you’re going to Hell. God’s wrath is going to get you. And if somebody went through a divorce in the church, it was, ‘Oh, they’re out there in the world. Devil’s got ’em.”
Johnson then touched on the topic of “church hurt,” which is typically described as the “painful experiences of being exploited in the context of a collective local church where spiritual language or even Scripture may be leveraged to justify wrongdoing and protect offenders.” While it should be noted that Johnson is mainly referring to the pressure and fear associated with the teachings of his childhood church, “church hurt” can also take on the aforementioned definition.
The Texas native extrapolated on this, saying, “It really ruined me a lot. I had a little bit of ‘church hurt’ for a long time. I’ve heard that term recently, church hurt, but it is real. You put so much pressure on the individual that they think that we’re not worthy to talk to God and we’re not ever going to be good enough.”
Another issue Johnson found later in his life in the church was his celebrity status. He recalled how Sunday services often turned into meet-and-greets, “I stopped going to church with my family because it turned into a huge meet-and-greet. People wanted autographs. They took pictures, and I said, ‘I’m not doing that. I’m not going.’
This, however, caused a rift in his marriage. The 37-year-old singer/songwriter took responsibility for it, noting how he’s made it a point to take his daughters to church every Sunday and dive deeper into scripture on his own.
Reflecting on his own spiritual journey and his past relationship with the church, Johnson said, “It’s not about perfection. It’s about faith with deeds and acting those deeds out. And [it’s about] showing, ‘Hey, I’m not in control.’ This ain’t Cody’s world. This is His world and everything I’ve got is a blessing that comes from Him. I’m gonna have faults and I’m gonna have failures and I’m gonna screw up. I may say the wrong thing. I may do the wrong thing, but I’m not running from Him anymore. I’m running to Him.”
He finished by likening his relationship with God to himself with his horses, “It’s funny how He sits there and waits on you. No matter how bad you run off, he still waits on you. I liken it to that horse at the house. If he wants to run off, that’s fine. But when he gets hungry enough, he knows where his food’s at… He’s going to eventually going to come back to the barn and say, ‘I’m hungry. Can I please have something to eat?'”
Watch the clip and full interview here: